Her Golf
Your First Round of Golf: A Complete Confidence Guide for Women
SECTION 1: Before You Ever Book a Tee Time
Understanding What a “Round” Really Is
What 9 holes vs 18 holes actually means
An 18-hole round is the full golf experience and requires consistent pace, focus, and stamina for several hours. Nine-hole rounds still follow the same rules, etiquette, and flow but allow players to experience the course without committing to an entire afternoon. Many courses design their pace expectations around 9-hole play during slower windows, making it a smarter entry point for beginners.
How long a round takes (realistic expectations)
A standard 18-hole round typically lasts four to five hours, but delays are common during peak times, which can stretch rounds longer than expected. Nine-hole rounds usually take about two hours and are less affected by course congestion. Beginners should factor in additional time for warm-up, check-in, and navigating the course layout — rushing is one of the most common causes of early frustration.
Choosing the Right Course for Your First Time
Public vs private courses
Public courses are open to anyone and generally offer more flexibility for beginners, including relaxed pace expectations and fewer restrictions around skill level. They are also more forgiving environments when it comes to learning etiquette and course flow. Private courses require membership or an invitation and often operate with stricter expectations around pace, dress code, and familiarity with the game, which can feel less approachable for first-time players.
Her tip: If you’re new, public courses during off-peak hours offer the best balance of accessibility and breathing room.
Par 3 course vs regulation courses
Par-3 courses are made up primarily of short holes designed to be completed in three strokes, placing emphasis on iron shots, chipping and putting rather than driving distance. They are excellent learning environments because they reduce complexity while still teaching scoring, etiquette, and pace. Regulation courses include a mix of par-3, par-4, and par-5 holes and require a wider range of shots, course management, and endurance.
Her tip: Starting on a par-3 course builds confidence and short-game skills faster than jumping straight into full-length regulation courses.
Who to Play With (and Why It Matters)
Playing with friends vs strangers
Playing with friends can reduce nerves early on since expectations are already understood, making it easier to focus on learning rather than performance. This will also help with any unnecessary nerves throughout the round, allowing you to focus more on the game. Playing with strangers, however, can help beginners learn pace, etiquette, and course flow more quickly, since experienced players naturally model these behaviors. Both experiences are valuable, and alternating between the two can accelerate comfort on the course.
Pairings explained (and why they’re normal)
Pairings occur when a course groups smaller parties together to keep tee times running efficiently. Being paired with strangers is standard practice and not an indication of skill level or experience. Most golfers expect mixed abilities within a group and are far more focused on pace and courtesy than on how well anyone plays.
Her tip: A simple “I’m newer to the game” at the first tee often sets a supportive tone and removes pressure immediately.
When to ask for a later tee time or less busy slot
Requesting a later tee time or a quieter window is completely acceptable. Courses are accustomed to accommodating players who want a more relaxed pace or extra time to learn. Asking for off-peak times, such as weekday afternoons or early evenings, often results in a more enjoyable and less rushed experience.
Expectations
Skill Expectations
You will miss shots — often
Solid contact matters more than distance
You will not hit it as far as your playing partners, especially men.
Her Tip: Even most female professionals don’t hit it as far as their male counterparts, but they focus on accuracy and consistency, and you should too.
Being practical
Nerves are normal at the first tee
Confidence grows during the round, not before
It’s okay to get frustrated, that means you care. But acknowledge that and move on to the next shot with a clear mind
One bad hole doesn’t define the day
What defines a “good first round?”
A good first round isn’t about score. It’s about finishing the round, keeping pace, and feeling more comfortable as the holes go on. If you understand the flow of the course and leave knowing you’d play again, that’s a successful first round. Having just 3-5 shots that were well hit is a good thing. Remember, you’re not signing up for the LPGA quite yet, give yourself some grace.
A good first round isn’t measured by score — it’s measured by comfort, pace, and the confidence to come back.
SECTION 2: Booking the Tee Time (Step-by-Step)
How to Book Without Stress
Booking online vs calling the pro shop
Booking online offers convenience and allows you to view available times without pressure, making it a comfortable option for beginners or individuals not wanting to talk over the phone. Calling the pro shop, however, provides flexibility and access to staff insight, such as which times are quieter or better suited for newer players.
What information you’ll be asked for
When booking a tee time, you’ll typically be asked for your name, the number of players in your group, and your preferred date and time. Some courses may also ask whether you’ll be walking or using a cart and if you have any special requests. Some may also require a card to be kept on file or pay now. Skill level is not required information but mentioning that you’re newer can help staff guide you toward appropriate tee times.
What to say if you’re nervous
Keeping it simple is best. A straightforward request such as, “Hi, I’m looking to book a tee time for two players,” is more than enough.
Her Tip: It can be nerve-wracking as a woman and beginner to do this, but by being confident and straightforward you’ll do fine!
Best Times to Play as a Beginner
Ideal days of the week
Weekdays are generally the most beginner-friendly, particularly Monday through Thursday, when courses are less crowded and pace expectations are more relaxed. Fewer groups on the course means more flexibility if you need extra time or want to replay a shot.
Best times of day
Late morning through early afternoon typically offers the best balance for beginners, with enough daylight and a steady pace that isn’t rushed. Twilight or evening rounds are shorter and quieter but may be influenced by fading light.
What “Pace of Play” Means
Why it matters
Pace of play isn’t about playing fast — it’s about keeping the course flowing smoothly for everyone. Most courses expect a group to stay close to the group ahead, not ahead of a clock. When pace stays consistent, pressure drops for everyone. Understanding this removes the fear of “holding people up” and lets you focus on learning rather than rushing every shot. If a group is playing fast behind you, it’s more than alright to let them “play through.”
Her Tip: Playing through means letting the group behind you pass. This usually happens when they are waiting for you on most shots. If there aren’t people in front of you, then you can have them pass, but if it’s a busy day on the course and you’re keeping pace of play, then focus on yourself and understand they will be behind you on most shots.
When it’s okay to pick up your ball
Picking up your ball is not a failure — it’s a smart pace-of-play decision. If you’ve already taken several strokes on a hole, are struggling in a bunker, or feel rushed by the group behind you, picking up keeps the round enjoyable and respectful. Most golfers do this occasionally, especially during casual rounds.
SECTION 3: What to Bring
Must-Haves (Truly Non-Negotiable)
Clubs (what you actually need)
Beginners don’t need a full set — a driver or fairway wood, a couple of irons, a wedge, and a putter are more than enough to get through a round confidently. Using an old friend’s or family member’s set can also be a great way to try out the game before any big purchases or investments.
Balls
Bring more balls than you think you’ll need - losing balls is part of learning, not a mistake. Having extras removes pressure.
Tees
Tennis shoes or golf specific shoes
Nice-to-Have (But Not Required)
Rangefinder or app (18Birdies)
Ball markers
Golf towel
Sunscreen
Lip balm
Water
Glove
Hat/visor
What NOT to Worry About
Having matching clubs
Fancy gear
Knowing everything
SECTION 4: What to Wear
Basic Dress Code Explained Simply
What most courses require
Most golf courses and country clubs require collared shirts, tailored bottoms, and golf-specific attire designed for movement. Skirts, skorts, and pants made for golf are typically acceptable, as long as they’re clean, fitted appropriately, and free of denim.
Her Tip: That super cute new crop top you just got? Leave it behind. Dress appropriately and respect the policies of the course.
Common mistakes beginners make
The biggest mistake is wearing athletic or casual pieces that look similar to golf wear but don’t qualify, like leggings, gym shorts, and tank tops. When in doubt, structured silhouettes and golf-branded fabrics are always safer than trendy activewear.
Her tip: These options can be great for the driving range and practice times but avoid them during your round.
Outfit Formulas That Always Work
Warm weather formula
A breathable sleeveless or short-sleeve collared top paired with a structured skort, tailored shorts, or lightweight golf pants is the safest warm-weather formula. It may be handy to bring a rain jacket if you live in an area with frequent afternoon showers.
Cool weather formula
Start with a fitted collared base layer, add a lightweight sweater or quarter-zip, and finish with tailored pants or weather-appropriate skirts with tights. This keeps you compliant with dress codes while allowing easy adjustments as temperatures change.
For additional layers bring a thicker athletic jacket, a vest, and wear thermal underwear. These options keep you warm and flexible during your round.
SECTION 5: Arriving at the Course
When to Arrive
Ideal arrival time
Arriving 30–45 minutes before your tee time is ideal. This allows time to check in without rushing, use the restroom, warm up properly, and absorb the environment — all of which lowers first-tee anxiety and helps the round start smoothly.
The Pro Shop (What to Say)
How to check in
Go to the pro shop and let them know your name and tee time. A simple “Hi, I’m checking in for an 8:40 tee time under [last name]” is all that’s needed. They’ll confirm your booking, take payment if it hasn’t been prepaid, and point you in the right direction for carts, the practice areas, or the first tee.
Common questions they ask
Expect straightforward questions like whether you’re walking or riding, if you need to rent clubs, and how many players are in your group. They may also mention cart rules, where to meet your group, or when to head to the first tee.
What to do if you feel unsure
It’s completely acceptable to say you’re new. Pro shop staff are used to beginners and can give clear guidance if you ask where to go next or how early to head to the tee. When in doubt, pause and ask — it’s far better than guessing, and it sets a calm tone for the rest of the round.
Warming Up (Without Overdoing It)
Putting green vs chipping green vs driving range
The putting green is for rolling putts only — no chipping or full swings. The chipping green allows short shots with wedges to practice shots around the green, often with a nearby practice bunker. The driving range is for full swings with irons, hybrids, and woods, and is best used to loosen up rather than “fix” your swing before a round.
What beginners should practice
Start at the driving range, you can ask for a small bucket of ball when you check in at the pro shop. This allows you to warm up - prioritize rhythm and solid contact. Next head over to the putting green, practice lining up the ball, reading greens, and hitting the ball at a good pace.
How long to warm up
A simple 20–30 minutes is ideal. Spend about half that time at the driving range, a few minutes chipping, and the remainder putting. Warming up should make you feel prepared, not tired or rushed.
SECTION 6: The First Tee
Tee Box Basics
Where to stand
Stand within the teeing area, which is the space between and slightly behind the tee markers. Position yourself comfortably behind the ball with enough room to swing freely, and stay aware of where others are standing so no one is in your line of sight or swing path.
Who hits first
On the first hole, the order is usually casual — often decided by whoever is ready or agreed upon by the group. After that, the player with the lowest score on the previous hole traditionally hits first, though many groups play “ready golf,” meaning whoever is ready can go.
Her Tip: Always make sure you won’t be “hitting into” the group in front of you. This means if it’s possible you’ll hit your tee shot to where the group in front is, wait. It’s always better to be safe than sorry. Hitting a ball into another group is considered poor etiquette.
Which tee markers to use
Choose tees based on distance and comfort, not gender or ego. Beginners typically benefit from forward tees, which shorten the course and make the game more enjoyable. If you’re unsure, ask the pro shop or follow where your playing partners suggest starting.
If You’re Nervous (Normalizing This)
It’s okay to miss
Missing shots is expected, especially as a beginner. Good players miss too — they’re just better at moving on quickly. The goal isn’t perfection, it’s keeping pace and enjoying the round.
Everyone started somewhere
Every golfer on the course had a first round that felt awkward. No one is judging your skill level — they care far more about courtesy, pace of play, and attitude.
What to do if you “top the ball”
If you “top it” - meaning you barely hit the top of the ball - and the ball barely moves, stay calm and simply play it again or move it forward to keep pace. One bad swing doesn’t define the hole, and quick recovery is far more respected than forcing a perfect shot.
SECTION 7: Playing the Hole
Order of Play (Simply Explained)
Honors vs ready golf
Honors means the player with the lowest score on the previous hole hits first on the next tee. Ready golf means whoever is ready goes, regardless of score. Most casual rounds — especially with beginners — use ready golf because it keeps play moving and reduces pressure. During the hole, the person farthest out from the pin typically will determine who hits next.
When it’s okay to go out of turn
It’s okay to play out of turn if you’re ready and it won’t interfere with someone else’s shot. This is encouraged when others are searching for a ball, taking extra practice swings, or not ready. When in doubt, a simple “Mind if I go?” is always acceptable.
Scoring: Optional at First
You don’t have to keep score
Keeping score is totally optional. Many first-time players choose not to score at all and instead focus on making solid contact, understanding the flow of the game, and staying relaxed. That’s completely acceptable in casual rounds.
How to track casually if you want
If you want a light way to track progress, count only total strokes per hole without worrying about penalties, or track just fairways, greens, or number of solid shots. Apps can also help keep things simple without making the round feel formal or stressful.
SECTION 8: Course Etiquette
The Etiquette That Really Matters
Respect the course
Respect pace of play
Respect other players
What People Don’t Care About
Perfect swings
Expensive clubs
Being new
Your total score
SECTION 9: After the Round
What to Do When You Finish
Returning carts
After the final hole, follow course signage back to the cart return area and remove all personal items. Most courses have staff who will take care of the rest — there’s no need to clean or park the cart unless instructed.
Thanking playing partners
After everyone finishes putting on the 18th hole, a simple “Thanks for the round” or “Great playing with you” is standard and appreciated, whether you played with friends or were paired with others. It’s a small gesture that leaves a positive impression. Most players often shake hands as well.
Visiting the clubhouse (optional)
Stopping by the clubhouse for a drink or snack is optional and entirely personal preference. Some players like to unwind and reflect on the round, while others head straight home — both are perfectly acceptable.
Reflecting on the Experience
What went well
Focus on small wins: solid contact, finishing holes, keeping pace, or staying calm after a bad shot. These moments matter more than your score and are signs you’re learning faster than you think.
What to ignore
Let go of individual bad shots, awkward moments, or comparing yourself to others. Every round includes mistakes, and none of them say anything about your ability to improve.
Why the second round feels easier
The biggest hurdle in golf is uncertainty. By your second round, you already know how the course works, what to expect at the tee, and how a round flows — that familiarity alone builds confidence and reduces nerves.
SECTION 10: Confidence Moving Forward
What Every Beginner Should Remember
Progress isn’t linear
Improvement in golf rarely happens in a straight line. Some days will feel great, others won’t — even as you’re getting better overall. This is normal and not a sign you’re doing anything wrong.
Golf gets easier with exposure
The more time you spend on the course, the less intimidating it becomes. Repetition builds familiarity with etiquette, pace, and situations, which naturally reduces anxiety and improves decision-making.
Confidence comes from showing up
Confidence isn’t built by waiting until you feel “ready.” It comes from playing, learning through experience, and realizing you can handle whatever happens during a round.
What to Do Next
Range vs next round
If your goal is comfort and confidence, another round is often more valuable than extra range time. The range helps with contact, but the course teaches decision-making, pace, and how golf actually feels. A balance of both works best.
When lessons make sense
Lessons are most helpful after you’ve played a few rounds and understand what feels confusing or inconsistent. At that point, instruction has context and is easier to apply, rather than feeling overwhelming. Don’t feel like you need lessons to play golf, if you feel it’ll benefit your game then you know you’re ready.
How to keep enjoying the game
Play at your own pace, make connections, choose beginner-friendly courses, and set personal goals unrelated to score. Enjoyment comes from progress, fresh air, and time on the course — not perfection.
Final Thoughts
Golf doesn’t require perfection — it rewards presence. If this guide helped you feel more prepared, more comfortable, or simply less unsure, then it’s done its job. There’s no such thing as being “ready enough” for golf — the confidence comes from showing up. Use this guide as a reference, not a rulebook. Take what helps, ignore what doesn’t, and trust that every round gets easier. The most important step is simply starting. Your first round won’t be flawless, and it doesn’t need to be. Every round is an opportunity to learn, adjust, and enjoy the process. Show up, play your game, and let the rest come with time.
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*This guide is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional golf instruction. Always follow course rules and policies.*
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